Charlie was not, in principle, interested in more suction. And yet.
Sucking Sweet in matte purple, editorial still life
Charlie's Adventures with huxi · April 2026

Suction is having a moment. I have declined most of it.

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I have been offered suction as a solution to approximately seven different problems this year. I have accepted it as a solution to none of them. There was the cupping session — "genuinely transformative," per a colleague — which left marks for eleven days, cost £65, and transformed only my opinion of the word transformative. There was the facial tool, the lymphatic drainage, the cold plunge. I have been offered a Gua Sha stone twice, and the second time I said yes to make it stop.

The Sucking Sweet is £52 and also has suction. I was not, in principle, interested in more suction. And yet. It arrived in a small box. No booklet about meridians. No disclaimer about individual results. A remote — which was unexpected, and in the box, not £18 extra — and a card explaining the sixty-day guarantee.

I used it. It worked. Not in the eleven-days-with-marks way. In the immediate, no-caveats, actually-does-what-it-says way that £65 of cupping emphatically did not.

Verdict. The Sucking Sweet is £52, the remote is included, and the guarantee is in writing — guaranteed orgasm or your money back. The cupping therapist did not offer a guarantee. The lymphatic drainage specialist very much did not. Nobody else in the suction economy is guaranteeing anything. It is the only suction product I own that I would describe as worth it. I find this slightly annoying. I am noting it regardless.

Margaret says wellness is a conspiracy against having a nice time. Margaret is seventy-four and frequently correct.

— Charlie

Sucking Sweet among the wellness things that didn't work
Photographed among the things that didn't work · Charlie's note: this one did
Sucking Sweet, editorial still life on cream
"

It worked. Not in the eleven-days-with-marks way.

— Charlie · Charlie's Adventures with huxi · April 2026
What it actually does — since Charlie remains, in principle, sceptical

Suction and vibration.
At once.
No belief system required.

01

Suction and vibration. At once.

Nine suction modes. Five vibration patterns. Both running together, worked by the remote in the box. Immediate. No practitioner required.

02

The remote. In the box.

Wireless, and it runs both functions. Not a premium add-on, not sold separately. £52, remote included — Charlie has verified this twice.

03

Body-safe. Whisper quiet.

Medical-grade silicone, IPX7 waterproof, under 50dB. Magnetic charging. Arrives in plain, unmarked packaging.

04

Sixty days. Guaranteed.

Guaranteed orgasm or your money back, in writing. The cupping therapist did not offer this.

The full specification →
Charlie's reluctant conclusion

The one that worked.

The Sucking Sweet has not converted me to the suction economy. I still have the Gua Sha stone. I still have the practitioner's card in a drawer. But for £52 — remote included, guarantee in writing — I now own the one suction product that did what it said, on the first attempt, with no belief system required. It is, on the present evidence, the only one I trust.

— Charlie is not a convert. She would like that noted in perpetuity.

Sucking Sweet by huxi
£52
✦ Guaranteed orgasm or your money back · 60 days · in writing
GET SUCKING SWEET — £52 →
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Sucking Sweet anatomy Sucking Sweet remote

Sucking Sweet

£52

REMOTE INCLUDED

Charlie
Charlie
Charlie's Adventures with huxi · reluctant reviewer

"I remain sceptical of the entire suction economy. The Sucking Sweet is the one exception — and at £52 with the remote in the box, being proven wrong has rarely cost so little. I find this slightly annoying. I am noting it regardless."

GET SUCKING SWEET — £52 →