"Quiet luxury starts at £400 for a jumper. She found it at £52. She is not above this."
By Charlie · Reviewing The Love Loop · huxi global
Quiet luxury is — I have read about this extensively, in the same way I've read about everything this year that I cannot afford — about restraint. Understatement. Fewer things, better made. Nothing that shouts. The colour palette is oatmeal and camel and a specific shade of grey that costs more than it looks like it costs. The jumper is £450. The handbag is described on the website as an 'investment.' The overall aesthetic is the visual equivalent of someone who has never had to look at a price tag and has confused this with taste.
I find this aspirationally correct and financially optimistic, given that my car insurance has just renewed at a number that required me to read it twice, and I am currently considering whether oatmeal is a colour I can achieve with a tin of paint I already own.
And then I bought The Love Loop. Which is £52. Which is made of body-safe silicone in a considered deep purple that would not look out of place in a design museum if you squinted slightly and the label wasn't there. Which is flexible — it holds whatever shape you place it in. Which is whisper quiet, understated, discreet, and does nothing to announce itself to anyone. Which is, in other words, quiet luxury. At £52. Which is not what the influencers mean and is exactly what I needed.
I want to be clear that it also has ten vibration settings and is fully waterproof and does the job it is designed to do, which is not something the £450 jumper can claim, because the jumper does not come with a guarantee.
The Love Loop does. Sixty days. Guaranteed orgasm or your money back. The jumper, you will note, does not.
I have a theory — not a developed theory, more of an observation — that quiet luxury as an aesthetic is popular right now because everyone is tired. Of noise. Of things that oversell and underdeliver. Of products that come with promises in quotation marks.
The Love Loop costs £52 and does exactly what it is designed to do, in a body-safe, beautifully made, whisper-quiet way that requires no explanation to anyone and produces results that are guaranteed or your money back. It is not described on its website as an investment. It is an investment.
The jumper is still £450. The car insurance has not decreased. The paint for the oatmeal wall is on order.
— Charlie is not an influencer. She finds the aesthetic correct and the price points aggressive.
What people say when it works.
★★★★★ · 626 verified reviews · 4.6 avg
★★★★★
"I bought it as a joke about quiet luxury and then used it and stopped finding it funny and started finding it excellent."
H.M. · Verified buyer
★★★★★
"The flexibility is the detail nobody mentions. You put it where you need it. It stays. This is the whole product."
Anonymous · Verified buyer
★★★★★
"Whisper quiet is accurate. Understated is accurate. The ten settings provide a range I hadn't anticipated needing. I now consider all of them necessary."
L.P. · Verified buyer
★★★★★
"£52. Does what it says. Guarantee is real — I read the terms carefully, as one does. Didn't need to use it. Would have if necessary."
J.K. · Verified buyer
★★★★★
"Beautiful packaging. Discreet delivery. Recommended to two friends as 'quiet luxury at a human price point.'"
R.T. · Verified buyer
