Sexual wellness through menopause and perimenopause: what actually helps

Often, yes. Reduced sex drive is a recognised symptom of menopause and perimenopause. It isn't universal: some women find they enjoy sex more after menopause, while others lose desire altogether. Both are normal. Falling oestrogen is linked to desire, and to the sleep disruption, mood changes and discomfort that affect it.

Falling oestrogen levels thin the vaginal tissue and reduce natural lubrication. Dryness, burning, irritation or itching in and around the vagina are common symptoms, and they can make sex feel painful. This has a medical name — genitourinary syndrome of menopause — and it is treatable, not something to put up with.

Several things. Water-based lubricants before sex; vaginal moisturisers used regularly; and trying different types of foreplay to find what makes you feel more aroused. A GP can prescribe vaginal oestrogen if hormone changes are the cause, and HRT treats wider symptoms. None of these is a defeat. All of them are ordinary.

A vibrator is not a treatment for vaginal dryness — moisturisers, lubricant and vaginal oestrogen are. What it can do is support arousal: arousal increases blood flow and natural lubrication, and when sensation is reduced, a vibrator provides stronger and more consistent stimulation than hands alone. NHS guidance on vaginal dryness mentions sex toys — it advises water-based lubricant on a toy if you use one.

Commonly, yes. Many women notice changes to arousal through the menopause transition, and taking longer is a common one. It's usually a normal change, not a fault — more time, more direct stimulation, and lubricant from the start all compensate for it.

Orgasm may take longer, need more direct or stronger stimulation, or feel less intense than before. Testosterone — which women also produce — plays a role in sex drive. For many women this is a change in route, not a closed door.

Need is the wrong frame — but many women benefit, and the two do different jobs. Lubricants are used just before sex; moisturisers are longer-lasting and used regularly, perhaps every two or three days. Choose water-based products, avoid perfumed soaps and washes, and don't use creams or lotions that aren't made for the vagina.

See a GP if you think you have symptoms of menopause or perimenopause and want to know your options — early advice can reduce the effects on your health, relationships and work. See a GP promptly if your bleeding pattern has changed and you're bleeding more, or if you have any vaginal bleeding after 12 months without a period — postmenopausal bleeding is not usually serious, but it always needs to be checked. And if dryness has lasted a few weeks and self-care isn't working, that's a GP conversation too.

Non-porous materials that can be properly cleaned: platinum-cured silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass and stainless steel. Porous materials can harbour bacteria and are best avoided — jelly rubber, TPE, and PVC, which may also contain phthalates. Every huxi product is matte body-safe silicone; Kur's Egg combines silicone with ABS.

Warm water and a mild, unperfumed soap, before first use and after every use. Silicone is non-porous, so surface cleaning is genuinely effective. Dry fully before storing. Respect the product's waterproof (IPX) rating when rinsing, and never share a toy between partners without cleaning it first.

IPX6 means protected against powerful water jets: rinse it under the tap, but don't submerge it. IPX7 means it can survive immersion in up to a metre of water for 30 minutes: submersion during cleaning is fine. In the huxi range, One Hot Bunny, Leda, Thunder & Lightning and Kur's Egg are IPX6; Flick, Love Loop, Sucking Sweet and Multi-Mini are IPX7.

Start with what many bodies respond to most reliably: external stimulation. A simple external vibrator with easy controls covers the most ground for the least learning curve. Body-safe material and a genuine returns policy matter more than feature counts. If penetration is uncomfortable — common during perimenopause — external-only is a reason to choose deliberately, not a compromise.

You send it back and we refund you. Every huxi product carries the 60-day guarantee: if it doesn't work for you, in any way, within 60 days of purchase, returns are free and we refund what you paid — to the card you bought it on. Not a voucher. Not store credit. The full terms are set out plainly on our guarantee page. None of this affects your statutory rights.